


not running

by lostsometime



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (as a prompt), Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empire Kids, Episode Tag, Families of Choice, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Running Away, crteamhumanweek2019, episode tag: s2e87: punishment and politics, imagine this happens after the conversation they had in canon, oh well it still kind of fits, wrote this last night just before it got jossed by current canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21777322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostsometime/pseuds/lostsometime
Summary: Beau checks in with Caleb after Trent approached him; they talk about the relative merits of running away.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 126
Collections: Team Human Week 2019





	not running

Caleb retreats to his room in the cottage and immediately sets about stringing silver wire and casting the Tiny Hut. They’re all used to this by now, and know not to disturb him during the twenty or so minutes he needs to cast his rituals, but he doesn’t come out after the spell finishes and the Hut comes into existence around him. Beau tests it and finds that she’s still able to enter, at least. She finds him huddled in the exact center of the protective dome, arms wrapped around his knees and gripping tight enough to bleach his knuckles white. Cautiously, Beau sits down in front of him, tailor-style like she was going to try meditating, and asks “Can I talk to you?”

He doesn’t speak, but he nods, which means he’s more aware of his surroundings than he has been for at least the past couple of hours. She’ll take it.

“I’ve been thinking about… well, about a lot of things, but mostly about the last time we talked about, you know, _him_, and I know I wasn’t hearing you then so I went and I thought about it some more and I’m… fuckin’ smarter now--” she gestures vaguely at the Headband of Intellect, which is still somewhat visible despite the mess her hair has become over the course of the day. 

“So, I think I get it a little better. And I _know_ he’s not somebody to underestimate, I _know _he’s one of the most powerful men in the Empire, but Caleb… he’s _still a man_. You just killed the fuckin’ _Undying Chosen _of _The King that Crawls_. Do you _get _that?” He grimaces a bit, but doesn’t really give an answer. She presses, just a little.

“I just think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. _You’re _dangerous, too. You’re not seventeen anymore, Caleb.”

“When he looks at me, I am.”

She sighs, but accedes to his point. “Yeah, I get that.” Off his skeptical look, she says, “I do! I mean, I’m not saying it’s anywhere near as fucked up as your thing but, yeah. When… Y’know, when my dad looks at me, it’s like I’m fourteen again. Like I’m _always _going to be fourteen. I could _stop the war tomorrow_, and if my dad walked in I’d be fuckin’ fourteen again.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I think you can do this. But also, if you really don’t think you can, that it’s okay. You did a lot today, and if you need to tap out, you can. You can bamf back to the coast or, I dunno, go hang out in Uthodurn for a while if you need to.”

It takes several moments for Caleb to swallow back the tightness in his throat enough to speak aloud, and even then his voice sounds scraped raw. “I thought… you told me not to run.”

“Right, I’m just saying, there’s a difference between running and a, a _strategic retreat_. You can _retreat _for a while, if you have to.”

“Alone?”

“Well, you could take Nott with you, I guess. I’m pretty sure she’d still be down to skip town with you basically any day. But I – I gotta stay here.” She tries for a smile. “You know what rich people are like. Like it or not, I’m the one with the title, so I’m the only one these fucks are going to listen to.”

Beau had hoped that offering him an out would take some of the terrible weight off Caleb’s shoulders but he looks, if possible, even more distressed than before. Maybe because he now has to deal with making a decision where before there was none. After several moments of drawn-out silence, Beau flushes, like this much sincerity at once has triggered an allergic reaction of some kind. Or like she’s embarrassed.

“Or not! Whatever, it’s fine, maybe it was a dumb idea, do what you want-- ”

“Beauregard.” His hand has closed around her wrist, stopping her halfway through her movement to get up and flee the situation. “It is not a dumb idea. It is – it is a very kind suggestion. But I, ah – “ He stops to gather his thoughts again, thumb tapping gently against her pulse as he holds on.

“Thank you for the offer. But I think you may have found the one thing I want even less than I want to ever be in a room with him again, and it is knowing that _you all _are in a room with him and I am not there. So, no, I think I will be there. I do not think I will be of much use, and I still believe we are probably doomed but… I will be there.”

He seems to have exhausted himself of all the words he had, but he shows no sign of letting go of her wrist. Beau softens a little and slides over to sit next to him, leaning her head on his bony shoulder. “Okay. So that’s tomorrow. You’re on pillow duty tonight, though.”

He doesn’t say anything else, but as she falls asleep, she can still feel his thumb tapping reassuringly against her wrist.


End file.
